can't you see I'm drinking my tea? |
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Thursday, May 17, 2001 Thursday, May 17, 2001 |
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| tell him to screw | ||
| ask him why he's so big |
Wednesday, May 16, 2001
Word o'the Day:
peregrination: action of travelling in foreign lands. journeying from land to land. Use(?): Peregrinatious activities in the coming month will take me to San Antonio, Texas and Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
Tuesday, May 15, 2001
Frahm me to you . . . get it? get it?
Elastic technology has gotten much better over the years, and bloomer-wearin' women feel much safer and more protected. Psychologists believe Art Frahm had feelings of rage against his mother, along with the ever-present Oedipus complex, resulting in phallic celery display syndrome and non-chalant disrobing disorder. My personal favorite: animal frenzy.
Don't try this alone
Absinthe is my old friend. Even though we don't have much in common anymore, in fact, I can barely stand him, at one time we were very close and shared many good times. Once we did a headshot and no, it's nothing sexual. It's not a pretty ceremony and recommended only under the most severe of circumstances:
Take a shot of absinthe, burn it, cover with a cocktail shaker (not entirely), insert a straw under the shaker and suck the fumes until the Absinthe is extinguished, then suck the shot through the straw in one go. And don't blame me if you don't remember your name or mum's birthday.
Wednesday, May 9, 2001
Afford the next potential Picasso
ArtCanyon bills itself as an emerging artist marketplace, basically meaning that it gives the starving painter an outlet to make some money. It's an affordable way to also pick up some cool pieces too, and you can search by art "under $100" or "under $250" depending on the ole wallet size. Chickety check it.
Tuesday, May 8, 2001
LinguaFranca is a peachy magazine about the ivory tower and it's absurd ways. This article talks about a University professor who was murdered in 1991, right here on campus. No one is willing to say why exactly, but many believe his outspoken beliefs about the Romanian government had something to do with it.
Sunday, May 6, 2001
Cork it: Last night after slicing into a book (I'll explain later) I went to P.Squirrel's house for some beer bonding. Just as I started to relax, a cork fight ensued. See, P.Squirrel has this thing with collecting stuff. The card catalog is full of . . . things, including one drawer full of corks. Luckily, corks don't hurt too bad, my arse will attest.
Friday, April 27, 2001
Becoming a statistic**
Last night, my friend Helen and I were held up outside of her apartment building. This sketchy guy, hooded and wearing dark hose over his face, approached us and gave the classic, "give me all your money."
I thought he was a bum and started to walk away until he said, "I'm not fucking around" and the long-barreled automatic in his hand became more apparent. It was one of those moments where your life becomes like a fast-forwarded tape, like in a Guy Ritchie film, where the shot suddenly and jerkily speeds up to a certain person or feature. My Lock-Stock moment was backing away and then seeing the gun.
Immediately, I took out my wallet and realized that I didn't want to give him the whole thing. Now I'll have to get another fucking license, I thought. Like that really mattered, but the mind thinks crazy things sometimes. I held the wallet open and took whatever money I had out.
The funny thing is that the perp (we started calling him the perpetrator to lighten the mood last night) had walked by Helen and I not 2 minutes before he robbed us. To scope out the area, my friends volunteered. He was casing you out, work buddy Milton said. I remember thinking how strange it was that I couldn't see his face; I noticed that when he walked by. He had on a red sweatshirt pulled up over his face and a red satin jacket over it and walked completely hunched over. Last night was really warm; he must have been hot.
Even though little warning bells in my head went off and the evil eye looked around suspiciously, I wrote it off, and we continued to stand around and chat.
There have been other times where danger seemed imminent: getting robbed and shot at on a beach in Costa Rica. Numerous times in CR, actually: getting accosted by two armed guards at the docks, who made throat-slashing motions. Guards had assault rifles at the appliance stores. We were stopped on numerous trips just north of the Panama border by men checking passports, strapped with bullets, Rambo-style. My friend Cindy was killed in an attempted robbery. I was impacted by the presence of guns a lot that summer. Our house in Jersey was burglarized, the perp jumping out of my parents bedroom window right in front of me. One time in DC, down in Georgetown, my guy friends thought it would be fun to try to reason with an angry, gesturing man. All of these instances have made me a more wary person, more aware of my surroundings. Last night's events, suspicious as they were, didn't evoke any special response, though. I guess you can't react to everything that might be potentially sketchy. I would never leave the house if I thought like that.
Chicago, in all of its springy goodness and beauty is still a city. Just as my mom would constantly remind me don't forget your seatbelt, I have to be remember to be as safe as possible. There are worse things to worry about. As the near-genius cop said last night, "You're just lucky you didn't get shot." Thanks buddy. I just hope I don't freak myself out wandering around alone.
**check out your favorite Chicago street for criminal activity, above.
Thursday, April 26, 2001
Fear of Flying
The Pilot's Wife is one of the most depressing books I have ever read. And I'm a glutton for misery. It is the story of a woman who loses her husband in a plane crash and discovers that he has a secret life abroad. He's a pilot, see, and so taking long trips was a routine part of their marriage. She finds out that not only is he married, has two kids by the "other woman" but that he was a carrier for the IRA, which relates to the reason the plane went down. You can thank me later for spoiling the plot and saving you from a good tear-spilling experience, unless you want the punishment. The good side: it's a quick read so your pain will only last for 3-4 hours. Gracias Oprah, for making me question how well I will ever know anybody.
Wednesday, April 25, 2001
Big Brother? That's me!
I've totally freaked myself out. Yesterday, I put SiteMeter on this little grrl to see if this pita was getting any hits. Since yesterday over 23 people have made it here! Spooky wowser! Not only do I know the number of visitors, but I know you came from places like espn.com (hi Amy), mindspring, pfizer.com (hi Megh), Northwestern(hi guys), aol and uu.net. Most of you stayed an average of 1 minute.
Now the part that makes me skittish: I don't want anybody to know I'm reading their pita! Or that I check it everyday! Fingers crossed that they don't have small baby sitemeters tucked away on their pages. Humph.
Tuesday, April 24, 2001
Waking up as a boy bunny
Can we talk about cute? Furry animal anime, what more can I say?
SupaDupa
It makes me happy that this site is still around.
Tuesday, April 24, 2001
What I'm really after
There are many "if onlys" to this pipe dream including but not limited to: if only Chicago was warm more than 3 monthes a year, if only I could ride it to work on Lake Shore Drive without risking my life, if only I had someplace safe to park it . . . the dream lives on and Scooterville remains a place I can visit vicariously through eBay.
Wednesday, April 18, 2001
My friend Rich wrote a congratulatory e-mail to Michael Chabon, winner of the Pulitzer for Kavalier & Clay (which I tried to read but just couldn't get into) and he responded! Authors who write back to their fans are cool. Michael Chabon also wrote Mysteries of Pittsburgh and Wonder Boys, both set in the 'burgh, where I lived during the happy MLS daze.
Trying to think of famous people that I tried to contact and the only one I came up with is Mackenzie Astin, who I wrote to in like 1985, because I was so into the Facts of Life (oh, but to give Natalie a hug). Nine pining months later I received his picture in the mail. Now I see my boywonder is on that terrible lawyer show "First Years." How times have changed.
Tuesday, April 17, 2001
Sam He Is:
There is a reason why Tom Hallman, Jr. won a Pulitzer for this story. Stories like this make me realise just how petty and unconcerned my life really is.
Monday, April 16, 2001
HeyHo
Joey Ramone, 49, died yesterday of cancer. In his honor, I will spend the rest of my librarian life living like a rock star.
Wednesday, April 11, 2001
Dental Hygeine Update ala J.Lo.
My urban-speak contemporary gave me a slang lesson last night, referencing the Jennifer Lopez song refered to below.
To "floss" means to wear a lot of gold jewelry. Likewise, the line "think you gotta keep me iced you don't" also refers to the riches. Iced used in this sense, means to be given lots of diamonds. So, fellas, put that in your pipe.
Monday, April 9, 2001
Why being a girl bass player is better than being just a girl
Stephen Malkmus is cute, in a grown-up indie, shaggy DA kind of way. I looked forward to throwing a brown shoulderpad at him, for no other reason than to tell him just that, which I did. Almost changed my mind when I saw his bass player, Joanna Bolme, because girl bass players are always totally cool, and I wished I had put down the band-camp clarinet and picked up something less Benny Goodman and more Kim Gordon. And I liked her even more watching the hopelessly acquiescent looks she gave to SM's shimey-shaking girlfriend, Heather Larimer. I was ready to be annoyed, but nothing like this. At a previous show, I had read, someone yelled out,"Yoko!" representing, I think, the symbolism of Larimer as a limelight-stealer. But Larimer seeks the glory more than Ono ever did, made even more painful to watch because it's obvious -- she attempts to command it with shrieks that masquerade as "back-up" vocals, sophomoric gyrations, mad floppings about the stage and, sadly, a tambourine. Final word: buy his album and forego the show or at best, wear blinders and blink alot.
Monday, April 9, 2001
Let's Sputter in the Middle of the Skybox!
Ah, look at all the funny tom cats!
Ah, look at all the funny tom cats!
Caroline Olkowski picks up the shoebox in a graveyard where a wedding has been.
Jump in a cut up blanket.
Fidgets at the car bomb, wearing the sandy beaches that she keeps in a tin cup by the beavers.
Who is it for?
All the funny tom cats, where do they all come from?
All the funny tom cats, where do they all cry?
Monday, April 9, 2001
because I care
and also because I fell off my chair when I saw this. Review of Malkmus/Metro show coming soon.
Monday, April 2, 2001
budding writer
My work-buddy Jim writes stories and has put a bunch of them online. "Sometimes, not always" and "S,D, Steps, a light rain" are his favorites. Look for his next foray into pie-making and psychic hotlines, coming soon.
Friday, March 30, 2001
great expectations
Last night, our friends gave us tickets to see David Copperfield at the Steppenwolf Theatre. It was a really random thing; the show started at like 7:30 and they called us a little before 7. But we thought it would be fun, and random enough, so we went. The whole time down there we talked about smoke (I kept saying fog), mirrors, making the Statue of Liberty disappear, was he still with Claudia Schiffer, do you think she'll be in the audience, etc... It was only after we sat down and opened our little programs that I saw Charles Dickens' name and realized the error of our ways. A good laugh and an excellent show, even though the only thing that disappeared was supermodel expectation.
Monday, March 26, 2001
Nervous energy
Sometimes ignoring stress is the best way of coping with it. Repetitive motion can be a very calming thing; it makes the mind think of nothing but the task at hand. Usually the object of a task like "hoot" is to finish it so you can get back to the real world, outwardly calmer and with something fun to scan in.
Friday, March 23, 2001
Spring in Paris
My two good AU friends, Ange and Amy, are strolling through Paris right now. Jealous! Read all about it, in Ange's beautifully self-effacing way. Dictionary check; I don't think I'm using self-effacing correctly, but if I think of the right word, I'll update.
Official
Took the plunge with NetworkSolutions alittle while ago so the DNS entry isn't exactly officiale yet, but it will be. And then when you click on the above link it will route you right back to here. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Tuesday, March 20, 2001
Looking for grrlmuzak Got a BN.com coupon today ($5 off $15, code: MUSICBN) and feel that new-music need come over me. Does anyone have any suggestions? Will you e-mail me? This will not only prove to Rich that he and roommate J are the only ones looking at this site but also instill in him that need to send me some girl rocker tips. Getting off the Internet . . .
It exists!
Years of rumor and hearsay led Charlie and I to the National Cathedral on Sunday, peeping and inquiring about a supposed Darth Vader gargoyle. Well, it's real, and evidently too highly placed on the tower for us to actually see it without binoculars.
P.S. I failed the r.e. exam and so all aforementioned panic and anxiety is drastically reduced for the time being. Bit of a bummer about my one-point miss, but no biggie, I can just retake.
Tuesday, March 13, 2001
Just when I thought it was under control Contained hysteria, mentioned prior, peeked out from the shadows of my anxiety yesterday and is knocking on the door right now. There is a welling feeling in my chest and my heart is pounding. Insides feel like they're quaking even though I appear completely laid back and stacynormal until someone asks me a question and I have to open my mouth. Sound scary? And I thought I was just taking this real estate course for "fun". My final is tonight, DC tomorrow.
Monday, March 12, 2001
Diet, Famous Going to DC in two days. Funny how I lived there for over 4 years and never really saw that much. So part of my trip is alittle bit tourist, some professional, rest sentimental. Gushy emotional places I might see include: *National Cathedral, its' spooky little garden and the mural of squirrels biting each other's heads off. And I'm not religious, I've just had some really cool times there. *Mr.Smith's, a bar I've spent plenty of time at. *Cactus Cantina, where I attained fahita face the summer before Praha. *fire hydrant on Wisconsin Ave that somebody painted to look like one of those armless Fisher-Price people. *Uptown Theatre, huge with balcony. Worth going to get buried by a movie.
All this and more . . .
Friday, March 9, 2001
I don't want to be your silent g
This has been bothering me a lot. That line in J.Lo's new single, "My Love Don't Cost a Thing, is, "if I wanna floss I got my own". Impressive -- I thought I had made it up, and credited my own lyrical genius. One has to wonder why she won't even use her boyfriend's dental floss. It doesn't exactly fit with the rest of the song, singing about expensive cars and fancy gold watches. Maybe it was used precisely as that kind of literary device, which I can't remember the name of.
Or maybe floss has a different meaning, like "put it on credit" or "go yachting". That would fit in with the whole money issue she has. But for now, I assume that she is stuck with a case of incisor-broccolitis.
Friday, March 9, 2001
A Girl Who Knows Where to Find Crap
Chicago, IL (AP) -- The proliferation of strange and outlandish websites often provide fodder for conversations that begin with, "What the . . ." Recently, friends of the libgrrl, who is known to share the world wide wealth of information, questioned her intentions and proclivity for finding unusual digs.
"Am I the only one curious as to how Stacy developed this propensity to find the very worst of the world wide web?" asked Charles Meisch, a friend of l.grrl's for over 10 years and his date to the junior prom.
Heather Lanzetta, a roommate from DC and Prague drinking cohort agrees, "Who the hell is Alexander the Poet? And yes, how does Stacy find this stuff?"
A recent study by the World Bank indicated that over 95% of Web surfers find what is considered "factually inspiring, oft reprehensibly curious" sites. Only 5% of those deem it worthy to pass on.
Recent mailings have included such sites as:
- a questionaire designed to find your mob name
- a blinking white eyeball, "actually a white contact that you can buy if you back up the URL" cites libgrrl, who supports free speech, e-commerce and stores like Medusa's Circle and
- the manboy, admired for his fashion sense and happy-go-lucky attitude.
However, also known for a level of kookiness in her own right, sister Caroline speaks about familial lines, "As one most genetically close to Stacy, I say check her lineage." Good advice, coming from someone known through her e-mail as popoutabed.
Thursday, March 8, 2001
BrineShrimp
Filched from prior-linked Web page, I dedicate this sentence to my sister:
"The more banal types of comics--the ones that might contain advertisements for sea monkeys--still dominate the market, which is a blessing, because children shouldn't have to grow up without experiencing the joys of sea monkeys."
And another word on graphomania. Charles Crumb, brother of the infamous cartoonist, scribed (it sounds better than scribbled, doesn't it) whole notebooks full of words, or writing that looked like words but was indecipherable. It was writing for the sake of writing. So in that black-and-white-composition-book kind of way, he's kinda like kin.
BabyWeird
Like claymation, stop-motion animation is just cool. It also looks hard as hell to do. As a person with little patience, things that require mucho patience are deemed difficult. Baby-Cue 1 sets the stage, but check out the moonwalker in episode 2 selling ice cream. Truly a hoot. Hoot!
Wednesday, March 7, 2001
Graphomania
Beautiful, disturbing things: a theme for today. Graphomania is a compulsive disorder to scrawl or scribble; an insatiable desire to write. The OED adds that it is usually self-indulgent. Well, howdy. There are 22 journals in my closet with that tag all over them. Unlike this image, however, they contain readable words and sentences.
For a while I sent graphomaniacal postcards to friends proclaiming "mouse" or "meep" or "la" over and over. Once I started writing, I couldn't stop. The repetition of the act was soothing and something about the way the word would blend into itself was also rather calming. During my days of contained hysteria, I would have to write to calm myself down.
851 W. Webster
An article about Henry Darger. If you don't know about him, read this. Another one of my mild obsessions that prompted me to interlibrary loan numerous books about the man and his life. I just received John Ashbery's "Girls on the Run" a long narrative poem based on Darger's work. Somehow though I don't think anything can do justice to someone capable of writing a 15,000 page opus.
tencat and other animaltechno
Click on the tiny "music video" button. Righteous little angular creatures shimy shimy shaking. Then chickety-check the "mixulator" and type your name for fun. Or try my favorite keys, o, b, g and h. Jotto stands for J.otto Seibold, maker of the strangely provoking holiday dog, "Olive the other reindeer."
Thursday, February 22, 2001
Chicago Drivers
When I was in drivers ed many moons ago, I learned to keep right and pass left. Apparently, things got reversed out here in Chicago. Travel down Lake Shore Drive any day and you can experience the terror of changing lanes as some Lexus or SUV practically runs you over as you try to do them a curtesy and change lanes. And I'm not talking like a left-lane-only-rider, oh no. I'm driving middle-lane, baby.
Monday, February 19, 2001
I think that's exciting
If a BabyRuth had ears, D.vonBohlen's voice would melt it to chocolatey goodness, all carmelly and disembodied nuts. Still bummed I missed them last night at the Empty Bottle but tired does not even begin to describe how my ass was a-draggin'.
Monday, February 19, 2001
True nuts only!
I thank PizzaSquirrel for this tasty morsel, where life is cuter, furrier and more likely to scamper places.
Thursday, February 8, 2001
Aussie station
Those down under DJs know a thing or two about the purpose of radio: MUSIC. Chicago radio sucks, truly sucks, with WBEZ being the only possible exception. But there is only so long you can listen to reports on the violence in the Mideast, Bush's tax plan and how the economy is going down the tubes.
Secret Packages
I've always thought this sounded super-cool and ultra 007. Plus, you get a cheap ticket to somewhere you'd not normally go. Potential downside: no baggage checkin. Check-in.
To Register or to sit on my ass and think about it some more
I keep thinking, do I make this official? Do I set up the libgrrl as a working.com? Or do I rely on my non-updating instincts and keep that urge to myself?
Thursday, February 8, 2001
Ouch
Here is a seriously disturbing page, yet it just tickles me. Kinda like the phrase, "there's a screaming otter in my pants".
Monday, December 18, 2000
LookOut Info!
Librarians are on the rampage. Who knew we could be so hip yet look so dowdy.
Friday, December 1, 2000
Guzzler
When the champaigne goes flat
And plastic contains your vodka
Orange juice with calcium
Makes a tasty little treat.
Friday, December 1, 2000
quarter-century
i am not a big birthday person
but when brian got those packages this morning
i keep trying to sneak-a-peek
Wednesday, November 29, 2000
Sound Dictionary
meep: [meeeeep!] a college thing with my friend Joanna. Usually found nowadays at the end of my message on your answering machine.
eerp: [earrp, earrp] sound kits make on my favorite Imax film, Beavers. Follow this link and read the "audio" section.
meow: [meeow] another college noise. not sexual, purely freshman naivety.
hoot: [hoot!hoot!] usually given in pairs, commemorating a job well done. like those Shirt-Tales stickers you got in the 1st grade.
Wednesday, November 29, 2000
Katbot, I'm in love with you
You can't blame a chartruese-colored cat from another planet for hating Long Island. If you went to college with me, you might understand. Except that Lawng Eyelind was the other planet. The main line: check out the music video on this site. Rock.
Tuesday, November 28, 2000
silly silly robots
when the lights go out
in the jetson house
all the little robots
scream and shout
Tuesday, November 28, 2000
little things
animals, animals, all around
at night i order pizza squirrel
and dream of building dams
running water has a habit
of making me feel this way
