"i know. can you believe it?" |
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Sunday, July 14, 2002 This weekend Beagle and I took a somewhat whirly-wind trip to New York with M(squared), our married couple friends. We saw The Graduate on Broadway, with Kathleen Turner and Alicia Silverstone (who I couldn't stop watching, so good!). M was abnormally excited to see the show because he loves older women. The chance to see one on stage, completely buffed out, was almost too much for him. I think this is why he got us all third row seats. So, the pivitol "would you like me to seduce you" scene happened, and Mrs. Robinson dropped her panties. And wouldn't you know it, little Benjamin stood, entirely seduced, in our way. There was no seeing Mrs. Robinson in any naked fashion from our orchestra seats. But it was mighty funny watching M swing his neck around, all ostrich-like, trying to catch a glimpse. Anyway, I swore I saw Ethan Hawke stride across the stage as an extra in one scene. It doesn't make sense, I know, but I'm completely convinced it was him. Sunday, July 14, 2002 This weekend Beagle and I took a somewhat whirly-wind trip to New York with M(squared), our married couple friends. We saw The Graduate on Broadway, with Kathleen Turner and Alicia Silverstone (who I couldn't stop watching, so good!). M was abnormally excited to see the show because he loves older women. The chance to see one on stage, completely buffed out was almost too much for him. I think this is why he got us all third row seats. So, the pivitol "would you like me to seduce you" scene happened, and Mrs. Robinson dropped her panties. And wouldn't you know it, little Benjamin stood, entirely seduced, in our way. There was no seeing Mrs. Robinson in any naked fashion from our orchestra seats. But it was mighty funny watching M swing his neck around, all ostrich-like, trying to catch a glimpse. Anyway, I swore I saw Ethan Hawke stride across the stage as an extra in one scene. It doesn't make sense, I know, but I'm completely convinced it was him. Wednesday, July 10, 2002 Turntables sine mike: Everything in my life revolves around whether or not I deem it cute, and today was no exception. When I looked in my CD/work-mirror, I noticed that it was time for a haircut. Summertime does not embrace those with painfully thin, floppy hair. So I recalled something I read about this salon called the Beehive. Now that is a cute-sounding place. Oh. Only right now did I realize it was probably named less for the furry bumbles and more for the hairdo, which makes sense considering the 1950s decor. But whatever. I must have known that subconsciously, or else why would I have asked for my 'do to be styled like my mum's high school yearbook photo? Sunday, July 7, 2002 Happily, I am back home after an extended weekend at the shore. We spent the fourth at my dad's house in El Norte Jersey listening to upper-middle class/aged people bitch about things like taxes while showing off their shiny new Volvos. Hello people, you live in Bergen County, and you are all Republicans, so stop your whining. On top of that, numerous comments were made about the cost of our wedding, which is funny considering how cheap I'm trying to be. Anyway, after that we went down to the 'zill's house in Manasquan, and headed over to the surf shop. Yay! I am now the bumbly owner of an 8'6" longboard, which I happily bobbed around on all weekend. There wasn't exactly any wave action at the inlet, so I had tons of fun paddling around and trying to control a giant piece of fiberglass against the wind.
Back on the wedding tip, I faced the wrath of the Motherzilla of the Bride today, when the subject of frickin' limosines came up again. As you may remember, I am anti-limo, and have met with major scorn for voicing this opinion. With surprising alacricity the tune of "whatever you want, it's your wedding" morphs into a monster mash of propriety. Once more, I was yelled at, still a year away from the big day, for having an opinion about my own wedding! I don't understand why I can't just drive myself. Maybe I can just borrow one of Dad's fancy cars and get both of them to simmmer down.
Thursday, July 4, 2002 The O-zone: Lungs are burning on this hot n'heavy weather day. Temperatures hung at about 97 degrees, and I found myself sitting in the house, completely still, sweating. Even inactivity makes me smelly. The worst thing about heat waves are the unusually hot things. One summer in my first Chicago apartment (on Wilson Ave), I couldn't walk across the floors barefoot because they were too hot. My Philly heat anecdote: it's 11 p.m. and the toilet seat feels like fire on my arse. Wednesday, June 26, 2002 Connie Chung done right: Yesterday I came home after a harrowing day of work to the next-door kiddies, ages 4-9, screaming in the pool. It wasn't just normal child-yells, though, so I went out back to investigate. One of the kids, wielding the garden hose, was having none of it. He grabbed one of his comrades, got in his face with the sprayer and yelled, "I want you to sit down and shut up." He did the same with the other kids, hosing them all over and basically throwing them around. They were loving it. I asked what they were doing and they replied, "Playin' bootcamp!" Oh, really? "Where did you learn about bootcamp?" And that is when I received the ultimate answer: "Maury Povitch!". These kids are the best. Oh, and a top secret tip to those in the know: i know all about the e.party.
Sunday, June 23, 2002 Hot town, summer in the city: I've won the hearts of my next door neighbor-kids with the bastion of summer livin': the Otter Pop. Nothing calms six screamers in a blow-up pool more momentarily than a bit of frozen goodness. This particular Otter seems to be having quite a good time.
Anyway, the Beagle and I have been discussing what kind of "look" we want for our new home. Right now, we live in something of a hand-me-down hodgepodge. It's just the right type of breeding ground for a design-influenced obsession: Trading Spaces. While sometimes the rooms can go very wrong (Doug is an ass, while Hilde gets way too Beetlejuice with her rooms), more often than not, there are major improvements. So, we want to fill out an application, but don't have any neighbors to trade with (according to the app, TLC prefers them to be right next door). For some reason, Brian thinks that this would probably not be the best way to endear ourselves to our block.
Sunday, June 16, 2002 Tonight I talked to my friend HA who cracks me straight up. Even her initials make me laugh. The randomness of our conversation turned to our favorite old elixir, absinthe. One of the nicest things about this evil liquor is how fuzzy and warm it makes you feel. That is, if you can endure the imbibification. (Is that even a word??) Anyhoot, because I spent some quality time in Prague, I ended up drinking a lot of the 'sinthe. And no, noone calls it that. At some point, my body stopped accepting the stuff; I felt physically repulsed by the mere smell of it. So when HA mentioned the extra bottle she has squirreled away, my mind immediately said "yay!" while my throat started to contract and eyes began to tear. Oh, how best to drink you down, green friend? There is only one answer to this, and it gets way too fratboy too quickly: Jello shots. Think about it -- Jello's innate structure allows for rapid gulping without getting much of the licorice-from-hell taste. And oh-oh-oh the feeling in your belly when the jello melts away and suddenly it's just pure wormwood feelgood saying hello, straight from the Czech Republic. Who's up for it? Oh, and the link for today: absinthe literary review. Hopefully they weren't too drunk when they wrote this stuff. Tuesday, June 11, 2002 Clairvoyance: The job was really crazy today, but the condor was out of the office so I enjoyed work, tear-free. Everyone enjoys a predator-free workplace! I hoot in happiness, alliteratively so.
Life alterations abound in friends of the l.grrl. My oldest friend, who I will call Eramus, got engaged. Congratulations Eramus! Now I look forward to hearing about scary things like "bone china" and "place settings". And another old friend, who I will call the Mouse, also made plans to get hitched. There is nothing so strange as your date to the junior prom finally settling down. That goes both ways I guess. To top off the matrimonial bliss, the Beagle and I registered -- Momzilla struck again, forcing the issue with hints of engagement parties and gift giving. Lordy. The wedding monster still lurks.
Monday, June 10, 2002 Ode to peanuckle: How do you spell that blasted card game anyway? And why can't I stop thinking about eating peanut brittle? Now, after a month in my new job, I'm only crying about once a day. Here's the deal. My boss is somewhat of a micromanager and completely lacks a sense of humor, so not only does she not get my jokes, but she doesn't even chuckle as if trying to understand. But really, it's her management style that drives me to sniffles. When, if ever, I become a non-minion, I promise to remember how painful it is to work for a nit-picking condor.
Anyway, even though I'm not supposed to acknowledge the internet at work, I showed my co-workers HomestarRunner, possibly one of the coolest websites out there. The toons are most excellent. Anyway, I bought a Homestar t-shirt and they included hand-written notes on yellow post-its, signed from the "Homestar Gang". Love them. Now, time to get.
Wednesday, June 5, 2002 Fateful pita readers, o how I have missed you. Tonight I just discovered my closest public library and I'm cutting it close as the lib is just about to close. The Beagle and I moved into our new house and I've been without free and clear internet access for 2 weeks now. Yowza. The ultimate irony is that I work for a large database company who does 90% of their business on the web, yet I can't use anything at work. Rest assured, I will be back and kooky soon. -s Wednesday, May 15, 2002 Biscuit-on-biscuit: No, this title is not some steamy love scene involving dough. I'm in the market for a washer and dryer, and this is one of the available colors. For some reason, though, it just seems kinky. Tuesday, May 14, 2002 Stolat! Happy belated birthday to both my sister and pillowfort. Let them know how much you care, and offer to show them your birthday suit in lieu of a present. Oh, and something gross and fun to throw you back to 11th grade biology class: froguts! And another thing. There is this cool traveling exhibit of underground zines, independently published stuff and artist's books called mobilivre. It's basically this air jet camper -- it was parked in University City just the other day, on 36th Street, for all you Philly natives. I stopped and talked to the girl there, and she said that their campy bookmobile is touring the country. A distant phallic cousin of the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile!
Tuesday, May 7, 2002 June & her muffins: someone wrote this in the sidewalk on 34th Street and everytime I see it I want to start a band with the same name. Last night I saw Pedro the Lion at the TLA. The show itself gets a thumbs up because it wasn't crowded and I had a seat at the bar. Pedro however is a real mumbler. He'd talk between songs and take questions from the audience but his replies were vaguely reminiscent of the Peanuts teacher, "waaa waaaa waaa". Today I am very tired. Monday, May 6, 2002 Coming up next: So yesterday my extended family and I went to Termini's, this bakery in South Philly with unbelievable canolis. I sat with G., father of the Beagle, while the Moms (mine and Beagle's) shopped for pastry. Three little boys in grown-up suits came into the store with their grandfather, and ran around the counter, sniffing all the goods. They were all dressed up and looked like their mum had attacked with hair gel earlier in the day. Eventually, they made their way over to G and I sat, and wanted to sign the Termini mailing list, which I heartily encouraged ("you'll get coupons!"). I asked them if they were coming from church. "No" came the peepy reply, "we just made 1st communion." Pure kid genius. The the littlest one looked a G, who is a rather facially hirsute dude, and whispered to me, "Is he a . . . hillbilly?" I almost fell off my chair, but remained composed enough to respond quite enigmatically, "No, but he is a suburbanite!" And little Marco gasped, backing slowly away. Saturday, May 4, 2002 So I survived my first week of work without any major boo-boos. My head should explode sometime next week with all the training I'll be getting. Stay tuned.
Today I wandered around, trying to keep my directions straight. I looked for inspiration while shopping for a mother's day gift at Strawbridge's but found the whole scene rather depressing. Last night I ate sushi at Fuji Mountain, which was pretty yummy. Then I saw American Chai, a movie about this first-generation Indian-American kid and his cross-cultural problems with his parents. Cute, in an amateur way. I saw it at the Roxy Theatre and felt very indie about the whole experience. Time to move on, the pub lib is now closing. I repeat, the library is now closing.
Tuesday, April 30, 2002 Baby pop: It's quite fun living the singlular life in my bachelor pad, although lonley at times too. Since I moved here without a lot of the basic food staples, I find myself regularly pilfering the "free" stuff at the local WaWa, especially Equal, my favorite sugar substitute. Yesterday, I traded off and took 3 salt packets, buying a bucket of rainbow sherbet to ease my schoolgirl guilt. Yesterday was my first day at work, and I basically signed my life away in terms of web access and online privacy. There are filters on the computers (no more online trading, dank) and URL tracking software to limit all my random link-finding excursions. The job itself, however, has coolness potential. I'm just not sure in which ways yet.
This morning I watched a woman snort cocaine on the Market Street subway. Saturday, April 27, 2002 Ho cubed: Greetings from the new city. I moved in to my lil'studio yesterday afternoon. The area I'm in seems pretty cool. This morning I walked to the Rodin Museum and the Art Museum for some early dosages of culture. While sitting on the musuem steps, I ate a banana and watched half a dozen middle-aged dorks run haggardly up the steps and dance a'la Rocky. One woman had her husband video the whole experience. I hope they got some of my incredulous looks on camera as well. What goofballs.
Right now I am writing this from the public library. When I walked in to use the computer, a librarian yelled at me -- I had to "sign in". Ooops. Do I not look like I belong in the secret club? Did I forget to give the password??
Tuesday, April 23, 2002 Lionhearted honoroarium: Hello chickens! Misses to all Chicago peeps and peebles! It seems appropriate to do a little recapping, since the past week has been somewhat nutso. My last night in the city was superfun, top secret (okay, not really) and filled with many trips to the photo booth at the Holiday. Bryan and I discussed the implications of cross-pollinating our friend-groups and I think this was duly accomplished. It's neat when all the random people one knows can hang out together successfully. So my trip across the heartland proved uneventful. I left Chicago late Saturday morning, sang and cried my way through Indiana and Ohio(zzzz) and into PA, spending the night in Pittsburgh. It was fun being back (for mushy, sentimental reasons, as always) and driving around the old hood. I paid my old apartment on Negley a drive-by visit, saw Beagle's porch swing-less place on Joe Hammer and squirreled through Shadyside, Friendship and Oakland. I wanted to find the Dancing Goat (this semi-stupid coffee shop that I would occasionally bray at) but couldn't remember what street it was on. Apropos of my time in the 'burgh, I got lost on my way to the hotel and found myself downtown, praying that I could get back without crossing a damned river. Pittsburgh is such a great, underrated town. I finally made it into the Greater Philadelphia Region (read: Havertown) on Sunday and stayed with Beagle's parents, who are supercool. At one point, we watched Six Feet Under and all of its gratuitous sex scenes. Watching R-rated TV with future in-laws made me a little squeamish. Sigh. Then early Monday morning I hopped a flight to Florida for some beach action, leaving me writing from the Hilton in splendidly cheesy Cocoa Beach Florida, where I've been surfing with my sister and spending quality time with the 'zill. Nothing like a little relaxation before my vacation-less future starts on Monday. Until then dearies.
Tuesday, April 16, 2002 Inside the envelope fortress: Tomorrow is my last day in the library, and this article makes leaving dorkily, blissfully bittersweet. Monday, April 15, 2002 Kung-fu fighting: ha ya! Just to start this week off right, I'm digging up a link from the past. Ninjas still rock. And so do last month's entries. |
i'm back!